Yet another one of Matt's oh so wonderful stories, and on video (with some brief commentary from dad):
Friday, February 27, 2009
Only a Mother Would Know
ONLY A MOTHER WOULD KNOW.....
Cup of Tea
Cup of Tea
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)
'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?
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ENSLAVE KIDS Corporation guarantees absolute satisfaction!
Just call 1-800-ENSLAVE-KIDS or go to our website, www.enslavekids.org
WARNING: All inclusive and may lead to some parenting
Sunday, February 22, 2009
GONE!
We had the "Nate" cousins over yesterday, and they put together the following full scale production. Enjoy! P.S. the filming was done with our little sony cybershot, and sound with a boombox.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
The life of a 5th grader
Some of the people reading this may be to old to remember what it was like to be in 5th grade,so let me give you an average day..............
8:40 :Slept in so your rushing every where to get dressed.You take the brush and brush your hair for about 2 seconds before running to the bus stop just in time to see it leave.All your effort gone to waste.So you hop into the car. (ofcourse you forget your coat and it's freezing)
8:58 : You made it!You step out of the car at the car dropoff right before the bell rings.You run across the field as fast as you can. .Suddenly you slip into a mud puddle .You think to yourself:why me!?You made it just intime.And instead of an award,you get work to do.
(you may think it's all downhill from here,but trust me,it gets worst)
9:00-10:45 :More work and caught snoozing and daydreaming a couple of times.Teasing for the wet water from the puddle,but it happened to someone else yesterday so no big deal.And then you stump to a hard problem and ask your teacher she sais "you should already know this" Well,you don't know but you leave quietly geussing the answer thinking to yourself:What's the point of going to school if your not going to learn anything?I mean, seriously.
10:45-11:11 :You realize you don't have a coat so you stall in the bathroom.You realize you had been stalling a minute past recess so you sneak in the room.Ofcourse you get caught and get the worst punishment of all:extra homework (somehow,whenever the teacher sais 'extra homework' in the backround you always hear a dun dun duuuuun!)
11:11-12:30 :Math.The worst part of the day.And then even worse; you get the hiccups.You drink water,hold your breath,even scare yourself.Nothing works.Once again you think:Why me!?(You think this ALOT during the day)
12:30-1:15 :Lunch finally!Your stomach growls in line.How embaressing!Your friend makes you laugh,while you drink milk.NOOOOO!Milk is all over you.Why me!?You call to change your clothes.One good think of the day;You missed recess.At least you didn't have to freeze yourself,then you think;why did I grab my coat?Extra wieght,great.
1:15-3:03 :You have to take a science and then history test and you haven't even finished math.More homework.That pretty much takes up all the time.You doodle and pass notes and the bell rings and you find you have 3 questions left in which you hurry through 3 minutes after the bell rings.
3:03-11:16p.m. :You find that you missed the bus and the day is finally warm,and you have to carry your coat.You walk home getting there just in time to figure out you forgot your math book,and you hadn't finished it.Then you eat a snack and watch TV till 11:00 when you go in bed finally and the last time you see is 11:16 before dozing off.
See how hard it is?No adult could last a day!It is so much more harder to be a 5th grader.All you do at work is(for my dad anyway)is eat lunch and talk to people and think of a way to persuade someone to do something.F.Y.I,i do this everyday.I talk to people,I eat, and I try to persuade mom all the time to raise my allowance money which may look easy but trust me,it is not!And mom,your job is to take care of us,right?I take care of myself every day!Shocking,isn't it?It's a piece of cake for adults,I mean seriously.They make money,stay up at night,make the rules, and get to watch any TV show they want.Did I mention that they don't have to go to school all year except for a mesly 2 1/2 months?I mean,seriously.You guys got it good.
8:40 :Slept in so your rushing every where to get dressed.You take the brush and brush your hair for about 2 seconds before running to the bus stop just in time to see it leave.All your effort gone to waste.So you hop into the car. (ofcourse you forget your coat and it's freezing)
8:58 : You made it!You step out of the car at the car dropoff right before the bell rings.You run across the field as fast as you can. .Suddenly you slip into a mud puddle .You think to yourself:why me!?You made it just intime.And instead of an award,you get work to do.
(you may think it's all downhill from here,but trust me,it gets worst)
9:00-10:45 :More work and caught snoozing and daydreaming a couple of times.Teasing for the wet water from the puddle,but it happened to someone else yesterday so no big deal.And then you stump to a hard problem and ask your teacher she sais "you should already know this" Well,you don't know but you leave quietly geussing the answer thinking to yourself:What's the point of going to school if your not going to learn anything?I mean, seriously.
10:45-11:11 :You realize you don't have a coat so you stall in the bathroom.You realize you had been stalling a minute past recess so you sneak in the room.Ofcourse you get caught and get the worst punishment of all:extra homework (somehow,whenever the teacher sais 'extra homework' in the backround you always hear a dun dun duuuuun!)
11:11-12:30 :Math.The worst part of the day.And then even worse; you get the hiccups.You drink water,hold your breath,even scare yourself.Nothing works.Once again you think:Why me!?(You think this ALOT during the day)
12:30-1:15 :Lunch finally!Your stomach growls in line.How embaressing!Your friend makes you laugh,while you drink milk.NOOOOO!Milk is all over you.Why me!?You call to change your clothes.One good think of the day;You missed recess.At least you didn't have to freeze yourself,then you think;why did I grab my coat?Extra wieght,great.
1:15-3:03 :You have to take a science and then history test and you haven't even finished math.More homework.That pretty much takes up all the time.You doodle and pass notes and the bell rings and you find you have 3 questions left in which you hurry through 3 minutes after the bell rings.
3:03-11:16p.m. :You find that you missed the bus and the day is finally warm,and you have to carry your coat.You walk home getting there just in time to figure out you forgot your math book,and you hadn't finished it.Then you eat a snack and watch TV till 11:00 when you go in bed finally and the last time you see is 11:16 before dozing off.
See how hard it is?No adult could last a day!It is so much more harder to be a 5th grader.All you do at work is(for my dad anyway)is eat lunch and talk to people and think of a way to persuade someone to do something.F.Y.I,i do this everyday.I talk to people,I eat, and I try to persuade mom all the time to raise my allowance money which may look easy but trust me,it is not!And mom,your job is to take care of us,right?I take care of myself every day!Shocking,isn't it?It's a piece of cake for adults,I mean seriously.They make money,stay up at night,make the rules, and get to watch any TV show they want.Did I mention that they don't have to go to school all year except for a mesly 2 1/2 months?I mean,seriously.You guys got it good.
welcome back to .................................
Gossip Line
YIKES!
Very rarely will you hear 1 word from Adam in our house.But if you have a cellphone,you'll get paragraphs of text messages (better results if your a hot teenage girl).You see,most of Adam's day is spent text messaging (even in school!).As you probobly know,Adam is going to start dating.But the thing is,when you date,you don't text ,YOU TALK!In text messaging,you can edit what you say before texting,and in talking,you can't.I feel sorry for the Adam,and the girl especially,when he starts dating.The name of this article started with Yikes! and will end with Yikes! because no mater what,it will be Yikes ,so.........Yikes!
I guess since I gossip a lot about people and write articles about it I think to be fair I should write an article about me so..............................
Who knew a genius could be this Cute?
That pretty much sums up the article.
Gossip Line
YIKES!
Very rarely will you hear 1 word from Adam in our house.But if you have a cellphone,you'll get paragraphs of text messages (better results if your a hot teenage girl).You see,most of Adam's day is spent text messaging (even in school!).As you probobly know,Adam is going to start dating.But the thing is,when you date,you don't text ,YOU TALK!In text messaging,you can edit what you say before texting,and in talking,you can't.I feel sorry for the Adam,and the girl especially,when he starts dating.The name of this article started with Yikes! and will end with Yikes! because no mater what,it will be Yikes ,so.........Yikes!
I guess since I gossip a lot about people and write articles about it I think to be fair I should write an article about me so..............................
Who knew a genius could be this Cute?
That pretty much sums up the article.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Matt's "Story Time"
The following story was penned by Matthew during Stake Conference today. I'm sure you will be as inspired as we were.
THE THREE LITTLE DOGS
A Story by Matthew Olsen [Editor's note: the true story behind the three little pigs]
Once there was a pig and a dog. The bad guy was a pig. The good guy was the dog. You know the three little pigs. But the three pigs were bad guys. They went to dog's home. They said "get me in with a huff and a puff oink!" The home with bricks fell down. The dog ran and ran to the home made with boxes. The dogs said "can I go in?" The dog said "no" so the dog ran away.
Next the pig was in the home made out of boxes. The pigs said "ha ha ha." It was a good thing the dog did not go in the home. It was a good thing it ran. The home made of boxes got broken and the dog got eaten. If the dog was in it he would be eaten.
The next home was made out of metal. The dog said "can I get in?" The dog said "yes." But the pig had the key to the house. The dog's had matches and burned the pig and eated it. "That was a good pig" one dog said.
One time the dogs went to cat's home and did the same thing.
THE THREE LITTLE DOGS
A Story by Matthew Olsen [Editor's note: the true story behind the three little pigs]
Once there was a pig and a dog. The bad guy was a pig. The good guy was the dog. You know the three little pigs. But the three pigs were bad guys. They went to dog's home. They said "get me in with a huff and a puff oink!" The home with bricks fell down. The dog ran and ran to the home made with boxes. The dogs said "can I go in?" The dog said "no" so the dog ran away.
Next the pig was in the home made out of boxes. The pigs said "ha ha ha." It was a good thing the dog did not go in the home. It was a good thing it ran. The home made of boxes got broken and the dog got eaten. If the dog was in it he would be eaten.
The next home was made out of metal. The dog said "can I get in?" The dog said "yes." But the pig had the key to the house. The dog's had matches and burned the pig and eated it. "That was a good pig" one dog said.
One time the dogs went to cat's home and did the same thing.
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